Break-Up

It's over. The boyfriend and I broke up on August 14th. We dated for a year and two weeks.

This is coming a little late, but understandably I did not feel very much like blogging, writing, going out, talking, or sometimes eating, for a good while. I really don't even feel like getting into it again so here's the short short version:

1) He said he hasn't changed how he feels since the talk about him cheating on me back in June. He still feels sexually attractive to other women and doesn't want to risk hurting me again like he already did once.

2) He admits he has a lot of maturing to do.

3) We both agree that we had become each other's best friend besides the romantic attachment. This makes it difficult, but he wants to be able to become just friends in the future. He said he does NOT not want to never see me again.

4) He gave back the stuff I had at his apartment.

And that was how it ended. Except that instead of doing this in the privacy of his home, like a guy should if you've been dating more than 6 months, he did this in public. Sure he probably thought it would help keep a scene from starting, but that's hardly fair to me, who can't help crying anyway. So not cool.

So I was a mess and hurt and crying for a good couple of days and nights. Then (for many more reasons that I can't explain or don't want to get into) I slowly begin to realize maybe it is all for the best. And maybe it's also because I went through what felt like a breakup over a month ago. The shock of the breakup was not so great because of what I already went through recently. If this all came at once, then I would be much worse off.

I have begun to see how being just friends would be better. I do know him well. I know things about him and his family...as a really good friend would. I'm also pretty sure that I wouldn't have as many qualms about telling him the blunt truth about whatever because I no longer need to worry about his feelings as a girlfriend would. Now I only need to worry as a friend. When he drinks too heavily, I'll be able to sternly tell him to stop being an ass. (Oooh. That'll probably feel good to say.)

Now I've been sadly single for two weeks. Last week I got a random text from him after 7 days of silence. He just wanted to know where he could get his hair cut on a Sunday. Hmmm. Friend stuff I guess. But today, I get a text from him asking to meet him for lunch. I can't today, I already have plans with my friend Nicole. So plans are for tomorrow.

I know, many women out there would probably yell at me that it's not a good idea. But relax. I do not want to get back together with him. Mostly, it's my curiosity that's got the better of me. I haven't seen him in two weeks. I wonder how I'll feel when I do finally see him again. (It might not be good. Surely it will be awkward.) But I am simply curious as to why he wants to meet for lunch. Perhaps he really just wants to get the friend train moving. Or possibly he does have an ulterior motive. But I won't know that unless I go.

So go I shall.


"Curiouser and curiouser." -- Alice in Wonderland