Dad discovers cause of daughter's lack of a relationship.

My dad frustrates me...no, infuriates me sometimes. And this morning was one of those times. I don't know if it's because it was 5:38 in the AM when I was leaving for work; if it's because what he said is simply ridiculous; or there's also the likelihood that it's a touch of PMS on my part. I'm not sure, but I felt the need to let out a very loud frustrated shout-sigh. How would you describe that thing women do when we just let out a heavy, vocalized breath? I also let loose a few choice words and the finger (not at him, but towards the house).

What crawled up my skin? He chose the moment I was putting on my coat to leave for work to walk out into the living room to bitch about the bathroom trashcan. I threw away a contact solution box into the small trashcan in the bathroom. This was apparently a great offense. Why was this act of throwing away trash into a trashcan a problem? Because apparently the bathroom trashcan is much too small for such a giant box that was my contact solution box. It overpowered the puny bathroom trashcan. And this is what he bitched about.

"How many times do I have to tell you that the bathroom trashcan is not meant for large boxes?"

Really!? Large box? Well, I googled an image so you can see for yourself. Granted, I could not find a picture of someone holding it, but you could always swing by the vison product aisle at the store next time you're out, you know, just in case you're curious.

I did not say anything after he bitched about the box and the trashcan. I did not feel like contributing to a ridiculous conversation. (I also do not like talking to people so much so very early in the morning anyway.)

My dad then went on to say, "It's no wonder you can't make a relationship work; you're such a slob."

(Pause to let outrageous comment sink in; grow into small ball of fury in pit of stomach.)

EXCUSE ME? I'm not in a realationship because I'm a slob?? Oh THAT'S why I couldn't make my last relationship work! I was with the guy for a year, but I guess because I'm a slob, he couldn't take it anymore and cheated on me.

So I guess I can't find a realtionship because I throw trash away in a trashcan. Next time, I'll throw my trash on the floor NEXT to the trashcan. That way the little bathroom trashcan won't have to suffer the strain of a giant-ass contact solution box. Oh the horror! I can't find a realtionship because I'm a fucking slob!!! What the fuck?!?

This all sounds like a silly story from Austin's The Onion. The headline would read: "Area dad discovers cause of daughter's lack of a relationship. Throwing trash in trashcan to blame."

I cannot remember a time when I wanted nothing more than to say, "What the fuck?!" and then flip him the bird...to his face. Seriously. What the fuck was this morning about? I'm not over it yet and I probably won't be for some time. And in the future when he upsets me, I'm always going to come back to this moment as well to show how frustrating and rude he is.

Nothing like a hot steaming cup of bitch-fest to wake you up in the morning.